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2 Letters To Jesus
By Valerie Jane | December 9, 2007
I write this with a sadden heart. I feel I must explain to you that we are no longer allowed to recognize you on your birthday. Sure, we can celebrate your day in private but we are not allowed to utter your name or show your likeness anytime in public anymore, especially in the month of December.
I am aware that you are the King of Kings, but there is a new King that just isn’t as old as you are. King Secular has decided that to teach others about your life will make them feel left out and offended and that this is wrong. As followers of You, we have to be respectful of other 
religions while they make fun and ridicule You and Your family. King Secular has said that You are obsolete during this Holiday Season because the very utterance of your name and likeness will hurt others.
King Secular’s wife, Queen Retail, agrees with her husband. She says that if people remember that this is your day then they will spend less money and that will hurt the economy. She believes that if people remember that the Christmas season is about Your teachings and Your love they will more than likely donate their time to charity and spend less time in her malls and department stores. She believes that this would be wrong of us because some charities may not get as much attention as others and this will make them feel left out.
You see, it is all about choice. According to the biggest women’s clinic in America, this season has nothing to do with Peace anymore and everything to do with Choice. Your Father allowed us the choice of free will and we have decided that our free will is to remove you from your birthday celebrations. I’m sure you will agree that it is wrong to make people feel offended, left out and hurt just because they don’t won’t to learn about You and Your teachings. You see, it is easier for us to live a life without moral rules and regulations. We have decided it would be best for society if we tell You what morality is because You are far too old to understand our lives today.
Again, I am sorry. King Secular and Queen Retail feel that this is the best for all and we have decided that they know better than you do.
Sincerely,
America
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Dear Jesus,
I feel I must write to You and let You know that we are in desperate need of your help. There are many people around us today that want to remove You from Your own birthday celebrations. They are lying to others and claiming that if we utter your name or use your likeness in public anytime during the year that this will hurt and offend others. These people are followers of the new King and Queen of the land.
King Secular and Queen Retail have decided that it is okay for South Park episodes to show your Mother squirting blood on the faces of others, have You depicted as an absentminded and out of touch talk show host and show Moses as a blundering ball of fire, but it is not okay for anyone to ridicule any other religions celebrated in the Land. King Secular believes that Your teachings are to blame for all the hatred in the world. He 
seems to forget that America is becoming increasingly more violent ever since the removal of You. King Secular believes that followers of You and Your Father are the only ones that are allowed to be offended; actually he encourages this offense on us. Many people who claim to follow Your teachings have even agreed to this.
Queen Retail believes that her department stores are more important than your Manger. Using the concept of diversity, she has many believing that greed, envy and lust are the new people to worship and that we must forget The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. She is even trying to bring back Lilith – The wife of Satan – for us to worship instead of You.
We are in desperate need of Your help. Please watch over the ones who still believe that Your word is the Word of God. Please give us the strength to continue to teach others of Your Love, especially during Your birthday celebrations. Please send us the Holy Spirit to remind us of True Love and to guide us in our teachings during this time of war. King Secular and Queen Retail are winning, but we know that You will win in the end. We know that You will need us to succeed in this victory and we are here for You in Your greatest time of need.
We love you and we refuse to allow others to remove You from Your day just because other religions feel left out and offended. We understand that You told us to teach your name to non-believers and we ask for you to provide us with the strength to continue to stand up in the faces of evil. King Secular and Queen Retail are indeed the faces of evil.
We will never allow you to be forgotten! We love You and we will die for you just as you died for us.
With all of our hearts,
America
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Which letter do you want to send?
Topics: Religion, Editorials |
December 12th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
They are both great, I’m going to print it out and hang it on my refrigerator and on my cubicle at work.