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Coming Soon to a Country Near You

The UK has decided that Catholic Charities must allow gay couples to adopt, or risk losing it public funding and it’s “charity” status.

From the Telegraph:

The tribunal ruled that a “heterosexuals only” policy in the adoption field of the Catholic Church in England and Wales would fall foul of the ban on discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation brought in two years ago.  gay_parents2

The Tribunal’s ruling leaves leading charity Catholic Care (Diocese of Leeds) facing a deep religious impasse and creates a fundamental conflict between the tenets of the Catholic Church and the law of the land.

If the charity now sticks to Church policy and continues to follow its “heterosexuals only” policy it could lose its charity status and public funding.

It might also face discrimination claims by same-sex couples it has turned away in the past.

catholic_care_logo Catholic Care has a respected reputation, particularly in finding new families for “hard to place” children, but has never provided adoption services to homosexuals for religious reasons.

The introduction of the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations 2007, threw the charity’s long-standing position into doubt.

Catholic Care, whose avowed aims include the relief of suffering of impoverished and distressed children, applied to the Charity Commission to amend its statement of objectives so that it could continue to limit its adoption services to heterosexuals only.

The charity wanted to formally incorporate in its objectives a statement that its adoption services would only be provided to heterosexuals “in accordance with the tenets of the Church”

That triggered a lengthy dispute before the Charity Tribunal which has finally ruled that Catholic Care cannot be exempted from the ban on discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation.

How long, do you suppose, before this comes to America?  I have been asked numerous times by one of our commenters why the Catholic Church has the right to force it’s beliefs on the rest of society.   And I have responded numerous times, that society is the one forcing it’s policies on the Catholic Church.  This is an example of that.

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145 Comments to Coming Soon to a Country Near You

  1. June 4, 2009 - 11:54 am | Permalink

    First of all, I want to say I agree with you, that the Church should not be forced to provide services She considers immoral. Therefore I agree that the Church shouldn’t be forced to allow same sex couples to adopt.

    That being said, I am not against homosexuals adopting. I taught a girl who would have been aborted if her aunt, who is lesbian, didn’t agree to adopt the child. The mother had already aborted several children before, so this was no empty threat. Now, if it is okay for that girl to be raised by a homosexual (and it sure as H-E- double hockey stick beats death!), why not other children? A precedent has been set. I can’t turn back and say “Well…..”
    We don’t prevent the greedy from adopting, do we? Do we prevent people from adopting based on the other seven deadly sins? Do we check if they are heterosexually promiscous. There is more than one sin in the world. Homosexuality should not be treated as the only one.

  2. June 4, 2009 - 2:43 pm | Permalink

    Well, if they’re publicly funded, I don’t really see how the “public” can’t tell them what to do. If they were privately funded, I’d say the Church should go tell them to pound sand, but I don’t really see how that would work if they’re funded with government/public money. If they’re public, they have to follow the public laws including not being able to discriminate.

    If I’m missing something please let me know. I don’t agree with them making the Catholic Church do this but I don’t know how they would get around it if they’re publicly funded.

  3. June 4, 2009 - 2:45 pm | Permalink

    wrong was wrong and everyone knew the difference or was shunned

    So you think we should go back to shunning people? REALLY?!

  4. June 4, 2009 - 3:32 pm | Permalink

    I remember walking over a mile to a friends house by myself and sometimes at night and no one ever worried about that. It was safe. As kids, we all knew which houses to avoid and who the perverts were. We knew because if someone was caught doing something wrong, especially when children were involved, everyone knew and everyone judged those actions and took the necessary steps to take the temptations away from that person. I see nothing wrong with that.

    I hitchhiked on several occasions with no fears – most of my friends did and there are no horror stories to tell. I had one friend that was murdered – the person who did it was her father (shock of the decade, by the way) so I know “things” happened. But nothing like today.

    In the same town I grew up in there are news reports almost every day of a child being injured, neglected and/or mistreated. When I lived there we didn’t need the news telling us this stuff, we all knew and we all dealt with it accordingly. If a husband hit his wife, people banded together to either get him help or get her out of there. If a mom hit her kids – same thing. Now a days a person can’t even spank a child for fear of being turned in to the authorities, yet we look the other way when a child is getting the snot kicked out of them by a guardian or parent. It’s sick.

    There are too many excuses for bad behavior and not enough correction and moral judgments of these behaviors. Look at society – for the first time in history we are having severe problems with violence among teenage girls. These girls are even video taping these fights and proudly posting them on the web. Back when I was young if you were a girl that was violent you were considered a “hood” and something to avoid.

    There is a movie that came out in the late 1980’s called “Heathers” that shocked alot of people. – girls treated each other like that? wow? All the murders that happened in the movie was scoffed at because “that would never happen”…well….it does now.

    I only remember one school fight happening and I went to the same school from 3rd grade to senior graduation.

    Times have changed, and it isn’t for the better.

  5. June 4, 2009 - 3:33 pm | Permalink

    OH – and we were able to eat our Halloween candy without our parents going through it or getting it X-rayed. We were even able to go to houses that we didn’t know and leave our neighborhood going door to door. Malls weren’t even opened on Halloween night because no one would be there.

  6. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 3:35 pm | Permalink

    “How long, do you suppose, before this comes to America? ”

    it already has, in Massachusetts.
    http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=19017

  7. June 4, 2009 - 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Jasper –

    Remember we have the “community news” section – that would be an excellent one to post. *hint**hint*

  8. June 4, 2009 - 3:43 pm | Permalink

    How ironic –

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,525088,00.html

    This is what happens when society doesn’t think the court system will stop the “bad people”. They turn into “mobs” who take justice into their hands.

    History has proven that time and time again……..

  9. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 3:50 pm | Permalink

    Jasper-

    First that is an old article, though the practice did stop just last month after the Church forced them to do so. The board was willing to let gays adopt, and when they were told it would not be permitted, they resigned.

    It became an internal Church debate, not one between the Church and the state.

  10. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 3:54 pm | Permalink

    Jasper-

    Please disregard the old article bit, an incorrect time stamp on an article I was reading was just fixed, my apologies.

  11. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Dan,

    do you mean this is not correct?

    “Catholic Charities in Boston announced March 10 that it is getting out of the adoption business, over Massachusetts state law requiring that that the agency place children with same-sex couples.”

    Is Catholic.org lying? Correct me if I’m wrong.

  12. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 3:57 pm | Permalink

    “The controversy began in October when the Globe reported that Catholic Charities had been quietly processing a small number of gay adoptions, despite Vatican statements condemning the practice. Over the last decades, the Globe reported, approximately 13 children had been placed by Catholic Charities in gay households, a fraction of the 720 children placed by the agency during that period.

    Agency officials said they had been permitting gay adoptions to comply with the state’s antidiscrimination laws. But after the story was published, the state’s four bishops announced they would appoint a panel to examine whether the practice should continue. In December, the Catholic Charities board, which is dominated by lay people, voted unanimously to continue gay adoptions.

    But, on Feb. 28, the four bishops announced a plan to seek an exemption from the antidiscrimination laws. Eight of the 42 board members quit in protest, saying the agency should welcome gays as adoptive parents.”

    http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/03/11/catholic_charities_stuns_state_ends_adoptions/

  13. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 3:59 pm | Permalink

    Jasper-

    I thought it was wrong based on a blog post I had been reading. However the post had been updated to include more information on gay adoption/gay marriage a couple weeks ago and so the timestamp was no longer correct. I apologize. Should’ve been more careful on my end. They simply referenced “last month” and had a timestamp only a week or two old. Again, my apologies :)

  14. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 4:05 pm | Permalink

    Dan,
    no prob.

  15. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 4:26 pm | Permalink

    My nephew Jason was adopted through catholic Charities. They are a wonderful organization. In Massachusetts, the gay mafia has alot of power, the state is run by liberal democrats.

  16. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 4:43 pm | Permalink

    First of all “gay mafia”? Really? Lmfao.

    Gotta love that after the 5 year anniversary of legalized gay marriage just rolled by and there were nice articles about how all the things that gay marriage opponents said would happen- didn’t, and that it raked us in something like $111million. The estimates for cali were in the billions. Too bad, it could really help them out over there.

    Second, this was a council put together by the Vatican, and they STILL ruled in favor (UNANIMOUSLY) for gay adoptions, when 4 bishops said nah, we’ll close in its place. They made their decision. For all that preaching of oh well you can be gay, just dont have sex talk, they don’t exactly act like that’s fine. Two gays are together so they must be having sex and thus its inappropriate for the child seems to be the argument behind this, and it’s pretty ridiculous.

    As for trying to get an exemption, that would lead a slippery slope. Can protestan churches get waivers not to allow catholics into their church? Could a company request to get a waiver so they could have an all-black staff? It goes on and on.

  17. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 4, 2009 - 4:44 pm | Permalink

    Jasper-

    Not to mention, this happened just 2 years after gay marriage was legalized and whether it would stay that way or not was still unclear. So much for all that power at the time this happened.

  18. June 4, 2009 - 4:54 pm | Permalink

    Dan –

    I think you misunderstood:

    “the state’s four bishops announced they would appoint a panel to examine whether the practice should continue. In December, the Catholic Charities board, which is dominated by lay people, voted unanimously to continue gay adoptions.”

    How is that the Vatican appointing the council? The four Bishops appointed a “panel” not the board. To me is sounds like the board, dominated by lay people, tried to stop the panel from ruling…..

    I could be wrong because the article you posted in the only one I’ve read on the subject….I think…..

  19. June 4, 2009 - 4:55 pm | Permalink

    lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride

    Yes, homosexuality is a sin. But even as far as lust goes, why is it the only sin that we seem to deem one unworthy of adopting? Greed and envy made the top seven in terms of sin, yet we don’t seem to have regulations disallowing the envious or greedy from adopting.

  20. June 4, 2009 - 5:12 pm | Permalink

    Helen: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and prideYes, homosexuality is a sin.But even as far as lust goes, why is it the only sin that we seem to deem one unworthy of adopting? Greed and envy made the top seven in terms of sin, yet we don’t seem to have regulations disallowing the envious or greedy from adopting.

    Here’s a thought that just popped into my head – so it may not be well thought out. However…….

    Lust of Homosexuality has a “lifestyle” and parades and books and legislation and must be accepted or discrimination lawsuits will happen.

    I can’t really think of any other “lifestyle” that fits one of the deadly sins with a name and parades,etc, that is being shoved down our throats.

    The other sins are not so easy to define because it depends on your state of mind. Like Greed – how do you know if someone is truly greedy? Can we say Bill Gates is when he give more than 50% of his income to charity? Do we really know what is in his heart and that his actions are pure or unpure? Same with envy – Is someone envious, or is someone looking at someone else in order to follow in the footsteps so they could do good to compliment the person they are looking at. What we may see as envy, is actually healthy and needed – or it can be the deadly sin, we just don’t really know. Where as homosexuality is considered lust with no exceptions because it is in dealing with the pleasures of the body.

    Another example – and I’ll use myself. There are times in my life where some can look at me and say that I am being slothful. However, I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder which causes a slothful appearance at times. Does this mean I am in the sin of sloth?

    It’s really complicated……….ouch…..I think I hurt my brain……

  21. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:14 pm | Permalink

    MK-

    There is a lot of evidence that our kids are at least as safe if not safer now than then. It’s the media that is creating this fear. And to put it simply, being able to say, “see ya! Don’t cross the tracks!” as we rode off in our bikes was there in the 90’s, too.

  22. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:15 pm | Permalink
  23. June 4, 2009 - 5:30 pm | Permalink

    From the Amber Alert Registry:

    United States Statistics Missing Children Statistics

    - A child goes missing every 40 seconds in the U.S., over 2,100 per day

    - 800,000 children go missing each year

    - 90% are juveniles

    - 50% are 4 to 11 years old

    - Strangers commit 53% of child abductions that end tragically

    Another 500,000 go missing without ever being reported

    You can go here to see the stats of violent crimes from 1960 – present http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm

    Also the Bureau of Justice Statistics http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/

    It looks like things got really bad in the 1990’s and have been improving slightly since then. It would be interesting to see if sept 11 created more violence or less violence, but I don’t have time to look into it right now…..

  24. June 4, 2009 - 5:31 pm | Permalink

    Oops – I forgot to link to the Amber alert registry: http://www.amberalertregistry.org/amber-alert-statistics.html

  25. June 4, 2009 - 5:33 pm | Permalink

    When two men or two women live together they are passing on the idea that homosexuality is a “good”. You wouldn’t let a pedophile adopt a child would you? Or a bank robber?

    Well…my child lives with me..and I am unmarried, so I’m passing on the idea that it is a “good” to have sex out of wedlock and become a single parent. Why am I allowed around my child? I’m just passing on that intrinsic evil known as “lust” onto her. Why don’t we just take away everybody’s kids who don’t live in the approved 2 straight parent household? They’re both doing damage aren’t they?

    Comparing homosexuals to pedophiles is really stupid too…because pedophiles actively seek out to hurt CHILDREN. OF COURSE you wouldn’t send children to the pedophiles house. Now, arguing that the parent’s homosexual lifestyle inadvertantly hurts the child is a different scenario. There are plenty of parental lifestyle choices that hurt their children. Like single parents…they don’t have the ideal situation, but I believe single people can adopt children or foster them can they not? So why’s it okay for one and not the other if the 2 straight parent household is the best thing?

  26. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:40 pm | Permalink

    MK:

    http://www.suicide.org/suicide-statistics.html#death-rates

    The suicide rate has decreased from the 1950-1980 rate of 13.2 to the present rate of about 11.
    he suicide rate for ages 5-24 (youth suicide) increased dramatically from 1950 to the early to mid 1990s but then began to decrease thereafter.
    The suicide rate for ages 45-85+ decreased significatnly from 1950 to present.

    The suicide rates thus were increasing during your time, MK, but have been decreasing since mine.
    Main difference? Awareness. Mass media. Newspapers. Etc.

  27. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:46 pm | Permalink

    http://www.policeone.com/patrol-issues/articles/1654449-Chicagos-murder-rate-lowest-since-1965/

    Chicago’s murder tally officially fell to its lowest in more than four decades, with 443 murders, according to final statistics released Thursday by the Police Department.
    The total marks the fourth year in a row that murders fell below 500 and represents the fewest homicides since 1965, when the city posted 395.
    Overall reported crime decreased 3.8 percent in 2007 compared with the previous year, while violent crime declined by 2 percent.

  28. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:49 pm | Permalink

    As for drugs, that doens’t really have a lot to do with letting kids to trick-or-treating, etc. It just shows how the war on drugs has been completely ineffective.

  29. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 5:53 pm | Permalink

    Furthermore, the gay adoption issue doesn’t prove anything. There are no comprehensive studies that show that gay adoption is bad for children, or any worse than normal parents. If the best argument against it is “it teaches sin” then you might have some issues with atheists, etc. adopting too.

  30. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 6:12 pm | Permalink

    PIP,

    you’re not thinking about the child, every child should have a mother and a father if possible. Placing a child in a home to be raised by homosexuals is not whats best for the child.

    Thats why Catholic Charaties got out of it.

    You should talk with your priest.

  31. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 6:14 pm | Permalink

    MK, it’s so individual per state; but generally we see trends for most crime rising between 60s and 80s. They usually peak late 80s, early 90s, but have decreased. I find it odd that the independence I was able to have as a kid was when all of these terrible trends peaked, and now that all of that stuff is decreasing steadily or sharply (depending on statistic), we think the world is a terrible place to be out in. In fact its this ‘let’s put our kid in a bubble’ thing that is responsible for our craze over disinfectants (leading to resistance) and more obesity and laziness.

  32. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 6:15 pm | Permalink

    “Placing a child in a home to be raised by homosexuals is not whats best for the child.”

    Where’s proof of this?
    I don’t have a priest right now, Jasper.

  33. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 6:37 pm | Permalink

    “Where’s proof of this?”

    thousands of years of proof that man/women marriage is the best.

    PIP,

    If you were an adoption concilor and 2 couple came in to adopt but you only had 1 child to give away. One couple was 2 men and the other was 1 man and 1 women. Both had equal income, lived in safe neiborhoods, etc.

    what couple would you give the child too?

  34. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 6:41 pm | Permalink

    Jasper, that’s not proof. You need number, studies.
    If I were an adoption counselor I would give the child to the couple that has the best interests of the child in mind. No couple is the same. It all comes down to who they are.

    MK,

    Oh, I’m not saying crime and drugs are better, or not different, than your time, but it’s getting better and parents are getting worse..just saying. It’s odd and causing problems of its own.

  35. June 4, 2009 - 6:44 pm | Permalink

    Geez everybody, take a xanax will ya?

    Maybe the world is the way it is today because people were tired of it being the way it was. Blame it on whatever you want to blame it on, but you can’t change what happened then that led to now. You just have to accept it and do the best you can with what you’ve got.

  36. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 6:46 pm | Permalink

    “Jasper, that’s not proof. You need number, studies.”

    LOL…no PIP, certain things can be explained by nature, no other study is needed..

    “If I were an adoption counselor I would give the child to the couple that has the best interests of the child in mind. No couple is the same. It all comes down to who they are.”

    well let’s there almost exactly the same…which couple would you give the child too?

  37. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 6:55 pm | Permalink

    “certain things can be explained by nature, no other study is needed..”

    Cop out.

    “well let’s there almost exactly the same…which couple would you give the child too?”

    Whichever one the parents liked best.

    alright MK, I’ll drop it then :)

  38. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 4, 2009 - 7:27 pm | Permalink

    “Cop out.”

    PIP,

    some things are just very obvious that need no explaining… Is the ocean blue? Do birds fly? Does a bear poop in the woods?

    same for tradional marriage….

    “Whichever one the parents liked best.”

    Cop out.

  39. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 7:39 pm | Permalink

    “some things are just very obvious that need no explaining…”

    It’s very obvious this is not one of those things. Saying ‘oh it’s obvious, so I can make universal statements about human behavior with no evidence’ is indeed a cop out.

    ““Whichever one the parents liked best.”

    Cop out.”

    Oh, be original Jasper. You wanted me to say something that’s against my beliefs and you are disappointed that you aren’t getting it. So, I gave you an honest answer that was different than what you were digging for. Boo hoo!

  40. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 8:24 pm | Permalink

    I know what you mean, MK.

    When I was young and we saw a ballet or something in the theatre we were expected to shut up. If nothing else fall asleep, but don’t make a lot of noise. My mom was babysitting for a friend’s in-law (new mom) and her kid was impossible to control! She couldn’t believe how disobedient she was.

    I think part of it too is that it is exceedingly difficult (unless one parent makes a lot) to raise a family on one breadwinner and guarantee things like college for your child. So both parents feel obligated to work constantly to afford it. Dropping out of the workforce for a few years can be devastating on mothers because when they come back after a few years, their job might be given away and they will be considered too old or not as competitive. Maternity leave is lacking in terms of set standards so some people get a matter of weeks. A lot of businesses don’t want to accommodate motherhood.It’s hard to have it all when a lot of businesses are so competitive that it’s hard to take off for a few years or get a more flexible schedule.
    Also, a lot of parents want to be ‘liked’ by their children so they make them happy by giving them what they want. They worry that their kid will get injured by playing outside and use videogames and TV as a babysitter. They feed their kids whatever they desire and then we wonder what is making our children fat?

    I see a lot of good parents but sometimes when I see or hear these kind of parents they just drive me CRAZY, but what can I do about it?? I’m not a parent so I can’t claim higher authority. What pisses me off more than anything is seeing these reality TV shows glorifying bad parenting. ESPECIALLY super rich families who spoil their kids rotten and then complain that their children are flunking out of school and disrespecting them all the time.

    /rant over.

  41. June 4, 2009 - 8:46 pm | Permalink

    prettyinpink: MK:http://www.suicide.org/suicide-statistics.html#death-ratesThe suicide rate has decreased from the 1950-1980 rate of 13.2 to the present rate of about 11.
    he suicide rate for ages 5-24 (youth suicide) increased dramatically from 1950 to the early to mid 1990s but then began to decrease thereafter.
    The suicide rate for ages 45-85+ decreased significatnly from 1950 to present.The suicide rates thus were increasing during your time, MK, but have been decreasing since mine.
    Main difference? Awareness. Mass media. Newspapers. Etc.

    Wow! I missed alot! I’m going to take this step by step, so forgive me if I end up repeating things that have already been said…….

    The suicide chart – you are looking at it wrong.

    Yes, the overall rate decreased however it is the age groups that must be looked at.
    From 1950 – 2003
    5 – 14 years old went from 0.2 to 0.6
    15- 19 went from 2.7 to 7.3
    20-24 went from 6.2 to 12.1
    25- 44 went from 11.6 to 13.8
    45 – 64 went from 23.5 to 15
    65 and up went from 30 to 14.6

    You see – as medical science advanced to make life more comfortable as you get older, the suicide rates decreased in the older years.

    The suicide rates in the 1990’s for ages 5 – 24 increased in the 1990’s with the increase in cults. The FBI had established that the cults were able to get at the kids with no religious based background or with an extreme religious based background (extreme meaning fire and brimstone/can’t wear makeup or cut hair/going to hell if you sneeze wrong type thing)…

    So you actually just proved our point. That this society with the lack of morals has created an increase in suicides. Thank God there was education in the 1990’s about the cults and parents were able to take action, along with the government.

    My point on all this is the extreme increase in the 1990’s was do to some other force than just society – so if you take that into account, the stats actually were gradually increasing year after year.

    On to the next topic……..

  42. June 4, 2009 - 8:48 pm | Permalink

    Oh – here is an article (done with a quick search and I didn’t read it in its entirety) is an FBI report in 1992 talking about the increase in satanic cults:

    http://www.rickross.com/reference/satanism/satanism1.html

  43. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:05 pm | Permalink

    @Jasper: The ocean isn’t blue.

  44. June 4, 2009 - 9:05 pm | Permalink

    Elizabeth: Geez everybody, take a xanax will ya?Maybe the world is the way it is today because people were tired of it being the way it was. Blame it on whatever you want to blame it on, but you can’t change what happened then that led to now. You just have to accept it and do the best you can with what you’ve got.

    Usually, I agree with you – but not with this……

    If we do not look back at history and see where we got here then we are doomed to continue to repeat it. This kind of discussion between the generations is very enlightening to everyone. It won’t be the laws that change our environment, it is us, we the people, that will change it. We changed it from what it was in the 1960’s to what it is now. We just need to find that happy medium…….

  45. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Bwahahahahahahaahhaa

    *wallows in hedonist society*

    Aaaaaah- this is the life. :)

  46. June 4, 2009 - 9:15 pm | Permalink

    Jasper –

    I’ll help you out with Pip’s question……

    but first, a rant – do none of you look at the Community News section????? The answer was right there!

    http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/swlt2.pdf

    cohabitation study showed that children do better with traditional families of a man and a women……..(actually it really shows that traditional families are a heck of a lot easier on women than not……)

    Of course, my two cents – there are some single parents that do an awesome job. My good friend was a single mom for quite some time and did an excellent job. (of course she had the best babysitter in the world…..Me!)

    I do have to say that taking situations on a case by case basis isn’t too much of a bad idea as long as it isn’t just one persons say so. A committee of sorts would be good.

    Let’s say that something happens to me and Stu and we divorce. Now lets say that there is an unruly 8 year old in need of adoption that has severe ADHD – the cause of his unruliness. Why should I not be one of the first people to get consideration since I am highly experienced with this type of disability? Actually – we can even add a highly depressed pre teen needs adoption – I’ve got excellent experience controlling that as well…….

    I understand Pip’s frustration in this. There are many not too perfect toddlers and older that need homes that just get shifted from place to place. Wouldn’t a ‘not so perfect home’ be better than multiple foster homes?

    Then again, that all may have been brought up….I didn’t have time to read everything…so I just may be babbling………which is normal……

    ;-)

  47. June 4, 2009 - 9:17 pm | Permalink

    Rae: Bwahahahahahahaahhaa*wallows in hedonist society*Aaaaaah- this is the life. :)

    Whatever it is your taking…….can I have some?????

    Bad Val….Bad!

    Never mind!

  48. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:17 pm | Permalink

    Ooooh the list of bad things! Let’s see what I’ve done! :-p

    1. Fornication –> Nope.
    2. Lying –> Ehehehehehe- yup.
    3. Calumny –> WTF. Need to wiki that one…Ah- fraud. Nope.
    4. Condemning an innocent person –> Nope
    5. Immorality –> This is far too subjective, but probably by The Catholic Definition (TM).
    6. Idolatry –> Of course! *bows to Darren Hayes*
    7. Adultery –> Nope
    8. Sexual perversion –> Nah.
    9. Theft –> stealing cookies count?
    10. Greed –> oh you betcha.
    11. Drunkenness –> Once every 6 months, lol
    12. Reviling –> Probably
    13. Robbery –> Nope
    14. Blasphemy –>Oh most definitely.
    15. Any kind of homicide –> I killed a bird once with a hatchet. It kept flying into our house and I wanted it to STOP DOING THAT.
    16. Genocide –> Many times. It’s called “using an autoclave”.
    17. Abortion –> Nope.
    18. Euthanasia –> Nope
    19. Voluntary suicide –> Not yet (not anytime soon…I’ve been very happy lately)
    20. Mutilation –> Does this count tattoos and or piercings? If so- yup. Gleefully.
    21. Torments inflicted on the body or mind –> Yup.
    22. Attempts to coerce the spirit –> Probably?
    23. Subhuman living conditions –> Nope
    24. Arbitrary imprisonment –> Nope, but my parents are guilty of that one. :-p Who was grounded on a weekly basis? I was!
    25. Deportation –> Nope
    26. Slavery –> Nope, but Cold Stone is guilty of that one. Bahahahahahahahahaha.
    27. Prostitution –> Oh snap you got me…not.
    28. Trafficking in women and children –> Nope
    29. Degrading conditions of work which treat labourers as mere instruments of profit, and not as free responsible persons –> Nope- again…Cold Stone is totally guilty of this.

  49. June 4, 2009 - 9:24 pm | Permalink

    RAE!!!

    You and Stu will have a lot to talk about. When I first met him his joke was that he was trying to break all the 10 commandments…..

    The false idol ‘god’ was a stuffed camel that had a cigarette hanging out of its mouth. Too funny!

    MK – you didn’t read that……..

  50. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 9:32 pm | Permalink

    MK- I agree with you on most respects.

    My mom worked through her college education and she expected me to do some work through mine (although she didn’t make me pay for the whole thing sadly). She took some time off work when we were born to take care of us. Also, for quite a while she worked in our little school cafeteria so she could spend more time with us. Once we got old enough she went back to work in the micro lab. It shows, IMO, how you can be a working woman and still be there for your children. You just have to do it right and be there for them when they need you.

    College, to you, may not be a right, but it is the main way to get many desirable jobs. I wouldn’t be happy being a medical assistant or an LPN, I wanted to be a doctor. If parents can find a way to ensure that for their children, they will. But I still had to work hard. I am still expected to apply for a lot of scholarships and pretty much my entire graduate school will be paid for by loans that I am expected to pay off after I graduate by myself. I think that when people desire a career that requires a college education, parents should have some level of responsibility in aiding their children in doing so. It doesn’t mean you should let them just do whatever they want with no responsibility to pay back their parents or help pay for it while they are there, either. But back in your time, college wasn’t as important as it is now. A lot of parents and grandparents have told me that a lot of jobs used to be ones that were trained for. Now, I had a friend who had a bachelor’s in Social Work, still couldn’t find a job beyond retail. Now even BS’s and BA’s will get passed over in favor of people with master or doctorates.
    However, if the child does want to be a policeman;, fireman, etc, that does not require 4-year college, the parent should be equally supportive of such.

    To be honest, the people that I see having these parenting problems are not homosexual people, they are young straight couples that never learned to think about what’s best for their children. I dont’ see gay couples on Nanny 911! I don’t think they are the parenting problem we are facing.

  51. June 4, 2009 - 9:32 pm | Permalink

    MK –

    I do totally understand what you are saying…… I just have a sister that works with disadvantaged children and her stories are heart wrenching. Sometimes it just gets to me.

  52. June 4, 2009 - 9:34 pm | Permalink

    MK: Val,I’ve met Stu, remember?I know a whole lot his dirty secrets.And, er, ahem, he knows quite a few of mine…I think I’ll shut up now…

    Don’t worry – I’ll get you to talk. Around the campfire while you are drinking beer and I’m sober….oh the things I’ll get you to confess to!

    BWWHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

  53. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:35 pm | Permalink

    I think we need to have more children trained by the Dog Whisperer.

    TSST!

    @Val: I have broken just about every commandment except the adultery one and the whole business about murdering folks.

  54. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:35 pm | Permalink

    And a few of the commandments I have broken SEVERAL times (particularly “honor your mother and father”- that one was broken daily between age 4 and 14).

  55. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 9:39 pm | Permalink

    “I understand Pip’s frustration in this. There are many not too perfect toddlers and older that need homes that just get shifted from place to place. Wouldn’t a ‘not so perfect home’ be better than multiple foster homes?”

    Yes. A supportive and strong gay couple would be a much better home for children that would just be a hockey puck in the foster system. I think it would be worse for the children to deny them a supportive family and say ‘too bad, those people are sinful, you’ll just have to keep waiting!!’

  56. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:41 pm | Permalink

    Actually come to think of it- I probably have broken every commandment. Even the “thou shalt not screw other people’s spouses” and “thou shalt not kill folks”.

    The 10 commandments take into account “thoughts” right? Like…”killing somebody in your heart”?

    If so- yup. I win. :D

  57. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 4, 2009 - 9:51 pm | Permalink

    @MK: I DON’T WANT TO GO TO MICHIGAN. THE ECONOMY IS SUPER, SUPER BAD THERE! :-p

    Oh! I just had a really possibly fun idea.

    We should do a “100 word story”. Like- each of us gets to write 100 words and we write a story! Or something!

  58. prettyinpink's Gravatar prettyinpink
    June 4, 2009 - 9:58 pm | Permalink

    Alright MK, I think we agree then :)

    My mom’s friend (practically my aunt) did the same thing, btw. She was a stockbroker; became a preschool teacher for awhile and went back to work after her kids got a little older.

  59. DeeL's Gravatar DeeL
    June 4, 2009 - 10:28 pm | Permalink

    MK: BTW, the word that got bleeped out was not what you think. It was a much more ladylike term…that involved screwdrivers.

    Ha,ha, MK
    Since you’re waxing nostalgic, keep in mind that even that screwdriver term wasn’t considered ladylike back when we were girls. ;)

  60. June 4, 2009 - 10:31 pm | Permalink

    Okay, kiddies, while I was gone I see we had lots of talking about me :) so let me clear some of this up for you.

    Elizabeth is a PERFECT example of the exception to that rule. But she IS an exception, and she has 3 men and 2 woman helping her raise Gabriella. She is not a mom all by herself, putting Gabriella in day care for 8 hours a day, while she works and comes home dead tired with no help

    Tell the truth Elizabeth, your wonderful parenting aside (and I’ve seen it firsthand…it truly is awesome, I’m not talking out my head) wouldn’t you rather be married to a really good man, and staying home with Gabriella and a little brother to boot? Not are you miserable, but wouldn’t it be even better if you had a life partner?

    Of course I would. I am almost certain it would make me a better parent. I really feel bad for Gabriella as I’m sure I’m harder on her because I do every single little thing for her (when I’m not in class) so when I’m utterly just DONE, she often feels the results of that. It’s not like I have my husband bathing her while I fold some laundry…I’m watching her take a bath while I fold laundry. It’s constant for me. Or she doesn’t get to go to the park because I have to cook dinner. If I had a husband, she would get to go to the park because he could take her and still eat a nice home-cooked meal. A lot of times it’s one or the other for her, and I feel bad about that. But I am only one person and I can only do the best I can.

    So the answer to your question is yes, I would rather be married and all those other things you said. Except the brother. We are having only girls in this house. :) Just kiiiidding. I’ll take whatever I can get.

  61. DeeL's Gravatar DeeL
    June 4, 2009 - 10:36 pm | Permalink

    MK: I HATE Childrens masses. They are nonsense. Teach your kid to sit still and BE QUIET for forty five minutes.

    YES!!!!!!!!! I was sooooo happy when our last pastor dumped the “Family Mass”. Unfortunately, we have some Masses where 1/4 of the assembly is “attending” from the narthex, using their kids as their excuse. I actually had a 20 minute converstation, in the hallway, with a woman following an RCIA class I taught, only to discover she was actually “at Mass”. She finished our conversation and then proceeded into the church to receive Communion. Now how does that teach a child to behave in church? School mom too. UGH!

  62. June 4, 2009 - 10:47 pm | Permalink

    Are you saying that we should roll over and submit? That we should not fight for what is right?

    No, that’s not what I’m saying. But you can only control what you do, or what you teach your children. You can’t really control other people’s children.

    You really think people are happy today?

    Some are. Some aren’t. Happiness isn’t a constant state of being. It’s work. Some days it requires more work and some days it doesn’t happen at all.

    You think the world is a place you want to send Gabriella into? Seriously?

    Nope. But I can’t get around it.

    You don’t want her to be safe, and pure, and good?

    I can only do my best to ensure her safety as her parent which is what I’ve done since before she was born. I will continue to do so to the best of my ability, and as far as my paranoia will let me.

    You want her having sex at 14, on birth control at 15 and pregnant at 16? or 21?

    Am I her parent still? Am I the one in charge? 14, 15, and 16 I sure am, and as long as she’s living in my house, I’ll be ensuring she won’t be doing any of said things. At 21? What can I do about it at that point? I can only hope I gave her the tools she needed in life to be a successful person who can withstand societal pressures. And if she does not, she knows that I will be her mother and love her regardless.

    You are really lucky that you have a family that supports you. But you have a mom and a dad and two brothers. Gabriella has you. God forbid something were to happen to you, she wouldn’t have the support system that you have. Most girls don’t. Wouldn’t you rather she lived in a world where 40% of her peers weren’t living without their fathers?

    I would, but I have very little control about that. I can only control the impact I have on her, and whatever people in her life I come into contact with.

    More importantly, aren’t you willing to FIGHT for a world where 40% of her peers are living without their fathers?

    In what way would I fight? I would fight for my child. I would fight for other children who reached out to me who needed help or even if they didn’t reach out, I would help them. I don’t know really what you mean by fighting, though.

  63. the cape's Gravatar the cape
    June 5, 2009 - 3:26 am | Permalink

    Gordon Brown and the Labor Party are going to be eliminated in the coming election. Purnell quit the cabinet today, and told the “liberal” Brown to “stand down”. Jackie Smith, Blears, have resigned due to nothingmore then being petty crook parlimentarians, who are rich in private life. It’s a damn insult,while millions of citizens, are losing their wealth/retirment/homes.

    His MP’s are even asking him to “go away”. Many of those same MP’s are also retiring before they are voted out. Liberal morals have hit the wall in England and are going to be thrown out with the government that has left the British Treasury totally broke. They have had “bond offerings”, not being bought.

    Such silly legislation as being reviewed here, is going to be reversed, and thrown out with the liberal Labor Party.

    Every revolt, every overthrow of a government, has a “sex angle” that eventually infuriates the citizens. No matter how much one may deny the fact, that when people are suffering and dying, and their government is flaunting their sexual perversions, anger rises it’s head and, off come their heads. Much less enforcing a culture of death, for anyone but them.(government)

    The hidden secret appeal of communism to the masses, was its criticism of the “depraved capitalist”. Which is why communism eventually failed on many levels, but also by becoming the new sexual abuser of fellow comrades by the second generation of socialist/communist totalitarianism. First generation socialist/communist/humanist hid their sexual depravtions by controlling all means of communication. China, being a example of offering the “liberation of women” from binding their feet(leaving only the big toe to grow normally), in a sexual competition with homosexual males for “upward mobility”.(The Song Dynasty;Seagrave 1986)

    Religion or not, one must ask, if the homosexual fascist have reached the high tide mark of their efforts to actualize a reality where passion has overuled the simple fact that the center of their attention is only for procreation?. What is left? The answer follows.

    From innocence, to the realization to being a victim, to being delivered from wrong(redemption), to self/god empowerment(see article) is the path of homosexualism, and is a Judeo/Christian principle, which is why Christians are unable to actually stop homosexualism.

    The eternal sin, is that the poor do inherit the Earth, and then having been driven insane by reaching their final stage of empowerment, which ends in a action that persecutes those that took their “perceived innocence”.

  64. June 5, 2009 - 8:35 am | Permalink

    By fighting for laws that ensure the world Gabriella is living in is a moral one.

    As long as she is living HER life in the most moral way possible, then she is living in a moral life. Laws won’t ensure that my child is lilving in a moral life. Whether she’s living in a moral society is a different argument. Voting/fighting for laws in society only works when society adheres to them. We have laws against murder,rape, stealing, etc. and they still happen. Laws only restrain certain people so far. So of course I’ll vote for the pro-life person or the person who’s tough on crime, but other then that, I’ll try to control what I can in the lessons I pass on to my child.

  65. June 5, 2009 - 9:12 am | Permalink

    MK: Oh Rae. Go to Hell!

    BAD MK!!! BAD!

    If we start telling people to do that we will have to get fire proofed computers so we can all still blog!

    BTW – Danny is doing find. Stopped puking – thank goodness!

  66. Stu's Gravatar Stu
    June 5, 2009 - 11:47 am | Permalink

    Rae: The 10 commandments take into account “thoughts” right? Like…”killing somebody in your heart”?

    No the Ten Commandments are the bare minimum of God’s Laws. The beatitudes are His “you should be’s”.

  67. Elizabeth's Gravatar Elizabeth
    June 5, 2009 - 1:27 pm | Permalink

    because much of the world thinks promiscuity is moral.

    I don’t think it’s moral…but I really don’t see how I can stop promiscuity, other than in my own child(ren).

    I can’t control what they show on tv, so I just don’t let my child watch stuff she shouldn’t. I can’t control really who my child will choose to associate with when she goes to school, but I can control who she sees/doesn’t see when she comes home from school. I can’t control what my daughter WANTS to do, but I can control what she WILL do.

    I may not like the way other people live their lives, but this is America, and they have a right to live it, whether I find it moral or not. Just as they do not have a right to force me to live a certain way, I don’t have a right to force them to live a certain way. That’s why, when I vote, I vote with my moral compass, as does everybody else in this country (at least I hope so).

  68. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 5, 2009 - 1:27 pm | Permalink

    “I’m just saying that it isn’t a right. You aren’t entitled to it. If you can manage it, and it’s what you want, then go for it. It’s the think you are owed it, or MUST have it that I’m talking about.”

    I disagree. If you’ve put in the time, work, and effort I absolutely feel you have the right to a good public education. I’m not saying college is for everyone, which is why there are admissions standards. But if you meet those standards you should be welcome to attend a subsidized public school. Granted, it will be a long time before we see that, but eh, we’re trying. Doesn’t help that the first things states cut in times like this include the state public higher education system.

    Sigh. Education needs to be made a major priority.

  69. the cape's Gravatar the cape
    June 5, 2009 - 1:48 pm | Permalink

    MK.

    Will 2009 be the high tide of liberalism/Democrats, and their vision of “moral history”? What more can they demand in the name of perversion and “rights?” As in all revolutions, based upon the cycle of innocence/victim/redemption/empowerment, the final stage is the persecution of those that opposed the revolution. In this particular article, it is the “sexual revolution.”

    Israel is a example of being born a “victim nation”, to being perceived by the Obama generation(and younger) as the “makers of victims”.

    That’s some slick moral propaganda, to erase the moral history of Israel, or the moral neutering of a nation’s right to be founded and exist.

    Same with torture.

    But, it is the conumdrum of using the Judeo/Christian principles/codes/morality/tradition/(I/V/R/E) against itself, that confronts you, and others at this site.

    In essence, you are fighting against yourself in the battle of moral homosexualism.

    You have young posters who think that they have broken all the commandments in their heart or mind. And what does that say of their character and nihilism? Why write such a thing? Yet, it is common, and is actually a bravado in the development towards the final stage in the cycle. It ends in persecution, or looking the other way as those communist did while their fellow comrades died in the millions. Or, it ends as Chesterton wrote in the chapter named, ” The Suicide of Thought”.

    So, grab a bag o’ popcorn, and watch the show in Britain(and Russia), as they reclaim their culture and heritage based upon the human cycle closely enmeshed in a religious/human principle of innocence/victim/redemption/empowerment. Or, for you MK, Malta may be your show to watch!!!

    “Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around.” – Orthodoxy, 1908

  70. June 5, 2009 - 2:33 pm | Permalink

    MK –
    (emphasis mine)
    “And you most certainly DO have a right to tell other people what you will and will not tolerate. I can’t pray in public, but I must allow gay pride parades??? How nuts is that??? Obviously, THEY are fighting for what they want, and how the world should be. They are telling ME how to live. Public schools are a great example of how I’m being told what my kids will be taught, whether I like it or not. Again, read that Red Riding Hood article. It’s an eye opener.”

    AMEN!

  71. June 5, 2009 - 4:05 pm | Permalink

    Who says you can’t pray in public? I’ve never heard that..I’ve never seen someone arrested for just praying. Besides, how would anyone know you’re praying? You can do it silently in your head. In fact, there’s some guy who stands down on Michigan Ave. with a microphone and hand-held speaker box yelling about how we’re all going to Hell, especially the gays. I think if THAT GUY doesn’t get arrested, I don’t think you can be arrested for just praying. I see him every time I go downtown and I’ve never seen him arrested lol.

    Dan,

    I’m just curious…if everything gets subsidized, what will the desire to be to go to college and get a job anyway? People don’t want to have to pay for their healthcare, they don’t want to pay for their school, what exactly does anybody think they should have to pay for anymore?

  72. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 5, 2009 - 4:19 pm | Permalink

    Elizabeth-

    I’m not for subsidizing everything. Public education should be subsidized, and the state should have a responsibility to at least pay a majority of college cost if it’s going to be a public university, otherwise a majority comes from private funding and it may as well be a private school system (UMass is dealing with that right now. Supposedly there’s a taskforce actively looking at privatizing, and students now contribute more than the state for their education for the first time in the history of the system).

    Not to mention, it helps the state in various ways. 85% of those who attend public school in MA stay here. They are our workforce, add in that the MA economy is largely knowledge based, and you have a good reason for the state to invest in these people’s education. It benefits the state and the individual alike- the state has an educated workforce with more money in their pocket, which in turn leads to consumer spending, further aiding the economy indirectly. Win win. Ideally, I’d like to see public higher ed to be free, but I could live with at least beginning to bring down the cost, which has more then doubled here in MA in the last decade, and looks as if it may double again within the next, which will likely finalize the privatization of UMass.

    I know Arizona is facing similar problems. The governor has pledged to cut their state spending on higher ed by 40% within the next couple of years, essentially pushing privatization and will likely lead to layoffs, increased use of part time and adjunct professors, etc, which not only hurts the faculty/staff, but also the quality of the education students receive. It’s a huge problem in our community college system, and is beginning to hit the state and University system here as well.

    It was the people seeing this happening who organized and got our governor to take a public stance as to how the Education stimulus funds should be spent- including preventing cuts in the UMass system as well as trying to stop the 1500 dollar (17%!) fee increase they’ve tried to push on us (though it looks like this will be used anyway). Unfortunately, they’ve received a waiver for maintenance of effort for next year’s stimulus funds, which means we’ll likely be facing an increase of the same magnitude, or perhaps even higher, next year since it seems like we will get no stimulus funds. Which is why we’re leaving the Board of Trustees alone and trying to go directly to the legislature to push for higher investment for public higher ed and its aid programs.

  73. June 5, 2009 - 4:24 pm | Permalink

    Elizabeth –

    I just googled “arrested for praying public” and this came up:

    http://bridgetdgms.wordpress.com/2008/02/28/free-speech-on-trial-christians-arrested-for-praying-silently-at-gay-event/

    http://www.frostillustrated.com/atf.php?sid=984

    The point isn’t that you can “pray in your head” I mean – can’t you be gay in your head instead of having a parade? The point is letting people know that you are praying, just as the gays let us know they are gay.

    The guy you were talking isn’t getting arrested because he isn’t really saying anything that can “hurt” the agenda’s of some. Pray outside an abortion clinic – there are laws and permits you have to get and you can still get arrested – Walter Hoyle comes to mind. Even with video evidence (which I watched) that proved he did not violate the law he still spent something like 28 days in prison. You can’t pray anywhere near a gay pride parade, as seen in one of the above examples, even if you aren’t doing anything other than praying.

    However, you can stand by the pro-lifers praying at the clinics and yell obsenitites at them and that is protected under free speech even without a permit. I watched 3 people get arrested for doing nothing other than praying the rosary all the while people were stopped at the side of the road screaming obsenities at us and the cops told us straight up that they had the freedom of speech to do that. The crime of the people praying the rosary? They had the audicity to face the street and pray the rosary – the permit stated you had to face the parking lot. OH, no one was told that the permit had been changed…..Judge was forced to throw out the charges of those people because the permit was changed without any knowledge of the protesters who filed for the permit. Gee, I wonder who had it changed?

    There is so much more I can say to that….but I think you get it.

  74. Stu's Gravatar Stu
    June 5, 2009 - 4:28 pm | Permalink

    Dan: 85% of those who attend public school in MA stay here.

    To bad if you are in many other states…. Michigan is a good example. Something like 50% leave… So it is not always a “win-win” proposition.

  75. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 5, 2009 - 5:29 pm | Permalink

    Stu-

    UMich is has also gone further down the road that UMass is headed towards now. They’ve have seen further declines in state funding which has in turn led to a nationalization in order to further subsidize their in-state students. They began using the high-fee high financial aid model (round 1997) that UMass is now turning to, saying it will not adversely affect the very students they say they want to serve, where UMich is a clear example of why that is a failure (50% leaving the state means not only are more of their students out of state, but likely also demonstrates the floundering of the general state economy).

    MK-

    I used to pray in school fairly often, I personally never had a problem, and I’m in one of the most liberal states in the nation. There were also students who met regularly on school grounds, before or after school depending on the day, to pray and/or do Bible studies.

  76. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 5, 2009 - 6:32 pm | Permalink

    “The point is that there are people on the OTHER side who would be thrilled to tell me how to live my life.”

    And they’d be wrong, just like you would be to tell them how to live THEIR lives. I would fight them 100% even though I don’t pray. There are legal principles that protect us all from each other.

    I prayed in school all the time. I went to college with Muslim students who would pray five times a day. People rant on street corners every day in this city. I’m sure at least some of them believe they’re praying.

    And going back to condoms/premarital sex, what if people outlawed praying not just in public but IN YOUR OWN HOME, because they weren’t content to merely not have to see you praying? That would be 100% unequivocally wrong — not because praying is “right” and sex is “wrong” but because legal ethics is separate from religion.

    “What I do NOT have is the right to do this outside of the law. WHich is why the murder of Tiller was “wrong”. But within the law? You betcha!”

    It is entirely possible to do things that you’re legally able to do, and still be wrong to do them. Just because it’s legally possible doesn’t mean it’s right.

  77. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 5, 2009 - 6:40 pm | Permalink

    “It is entirely possible to do things that you’re legally able to do, and still be wrong to do them. Just because it’s legally possible doesn’t mean it’s right.”

    Liek aborshun? :)

  78. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 5, 2009 - 6:43 pm | Permalink

    Like YOUR FACE. ;)

  79. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 5, 2009 - 6:47 pm | Permalink

    @Alexandra: THEM’S FIGHTIN’ WORDS! YOUR MOM!

  80. June 5, 2009 - 8:29 pm | Permalink

    Alexandra, 6:32 p.m.

    I completely agree! :)

  81. June 5, 2009 - 8:39 pm | Permalink

    MK,

    Did you just link to Operation Save America? Isn’t that the group that advocates Texas seceding from the US and starting their own country? I also thought they advocated executing gays…I don’t remember where I heard that but I’m pretty sure I did…I’ll have to find it.

  82. June 5, 2009 - 8:50 pm | Permalink

    Crap, I couldn’t find it when I went to there website…maybe it was another organization..but I read some crackhead stuff on Operation Save America’s website too. Uhh, so much crazy, such little time. :)

  83. June 5, 2009 - 9:14 pm | Permalink

    Elizabeth –

    I do agree with you that Operation Save America is a bit off – but I looked at what MK linked to and the facts are legit.

    I don’t think they are the ones you are thinking of though……and I think I know who you are thinking of and I just can’t remember who they are! But I don’t think that group is near as big as Operation Save America is.

  84. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 5, 2009 - 9:26 pm | Permalink

    Somebody forgot to close an italics tag somewhere…

  85. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 5, 2009 - 11:10 pm | Permalink

    “It’s only when we don’t agree with them, that we feel bent out of shape.”

    No, I don’t give a crap about praying or Bible study but I am REALLY freaking offended by the government telling people they can’t pray or study the Bible. Some of us see beyond our own beliefs.

    “What you and Alexandra aren’t getting is that every time society makes a law of any kind it is telling SOMEONE how to live their lives.”

    Again, no. A lack of laws banning smoking does not tell anyone what to do — it does the exact opposite. A lack of laws banning condoms does not tell anyone what to do. A lack of laws banning premarital sex doesn’t tell anyone what to do. You are free to do whatever you want, under these laws.

    “When it comes time that ALL doctors will be required to perform abortions or lose their liscenses, the legal principles will be wrong. Right now we have a law that says it is okay to kill our unborn children. That law is wrong. And I am fighting to change it.”

    Do you honestly not see the difference between abortion, or rape, or murder, and sex/condoms/whatever? Seriously? Abortion, rape, and murder are all DIRECT conflicts of human rights. It is not possible for both the child to have a right to life, and the mother to have a right to bodily autonomy; nor for both the victim to have a right to life and the murderer to have the right to, I don’t know, pursuit of happiness or whatever. There is no direct conflict of rights in many arguably moral situations. Where there is one in some circumstances but not others, the law often reflects that. You can masturbate at home but not in public. You can smoke at home but not in a restaurant. However bad masturbating and smoking are on their own, the act of them — when done in certain circumstances — does not cause a direct conflict of rights.

  86. June 6, 2009 - 12:03 am | Permalink

    Val,

    I think I just remember some of those Operation Save America nutters commenting on Jill’s once..and thinking..”wow, they’re crazy” lol. That may be why I thought it was them.

  87. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 6, 2009 - 8:12 am | Permalink

    “Alexandra, I said “Anytime a LAW IS MADE…” and you came back with “A LACK OF LAWS…” Huh?”

    According to you, a lack of laws banning condoms affects your right to live your life — that’s why you’re “right” to advocate on behalf of controlling the behavior of others. I’m not sure why you brought up the creation of laws controlling people by their necessity if you don’t feel that controlling people is unavoidable.

    I am 100% finished explaining that I absolutely, unequivocally do not support the government interfering in a home bible study. I JUST SAID IT in my last post and still you’re throwing it at me like I haven’t mentioned it at all. I hope the people who were affected respond with legal force.

    Minors can’t do tons of things adults can do. IMO kids should be able to drink with their parents — I had a sip of wine here and there when I was a teenager — but we do accept restrictions on actions for children with the understanding that the possible consequences of those actions cannot reliably be consented to by an adolescent mind. The equivalent situation to your example would be banning teenagers from having sex, not informed and consenting adults.

    I don’t think too much about prostitution so my opinions aren’t as well formed, but it seems to me that it’s more akin to selling organs than to engaging in consensual and non-commercial sex — that is to say, it relates to selling the resources of the human body, rather than to sex. At this point in my thought process I don’t know that I would oppose the decriminalization of prostitution, if it were regulated and if there were resources in place to help women who didn’t actually want to be prostitutes.

    Heroin, and similarly addictive substances, by their very nature take away the user’s ability to give informed consent. After the first time you’re incapable of rationally weighing the pros and cons/risk versus benefit. There aren’t too many things like this that I’m aware of. Things that merely have the potential to be like this don’t get banned: alcohol, prescription drugs, etc. Does using condoms make one unable to rationally decide not to use condoms?

  88. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 6, 2009 - 8:17 am | Permalink

    Speaking of the bible study group, though, I still am curious why you think that you should have the right to ban people from using condoms, but you don’t think that others should have the right to ban people from reading the Bible.

    It’s the difference between banning public nudity, and banning people from walking around naked in their own houses. Even Muslim women who are required to wear head scarves in public are not required to do so at home, with family.

  89. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 6, 2009 - 12:42 pm | Permalink

    “WHERE do you get this idea that I am advocating telling people what to do in their private lives????”

    From the ancient Saturday Mixer thread where I asked if you would vote to ban condoms, premarital sex, etc, and you said yes. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

    “You are actually agreeing with me, when you say that it is an atrocity to threaten folks that are praying privately in their homes.”

    That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all this time! I don’t understand HOW you can see that it’s wrong for people to control what you do in your own home, and not see that it’s equally wrong for you to control what other people do in their own homes.

    “If anyone is throwing things up in someones face, it is you. You keep accusing me and the CC of trying to control peoples lives.”

    What have I thrown in your face, despite you repeatedly correcting me? You’d vote to ban sex outside marriage if you could. You’d vote to ban condoms if you could. etc etc etc. These are things you’ve said. You’ve also said that to NOT do so would be to go against your religious beliefs. So yes, based on those comments I do believe that you’re trying to control people’s lives. How else should I interpret those statements?

  90. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 6, 2009 - 6:25 pm | Permalink

    “If I believe something is immoral, of course I would not want it to exist. Would you?”

    Of course not. Personally I think it’s immoral for people to send their kids to freaky Jesus Camp type places, and I’d much rather people didn’t. But what a scary country this would be if people COULDN’T.

    “IF that ever changed, then it would reflect the will of the people.”

    Only some of them. That’s my point. People who don’t want birth control are currently free not to use it. Birth control being legal does not impose on the lives of those who don’t like it. If millions of MKs made up the majority and banned birth control then there would be many, many people whose lives were being imposed upon.

    Regarding premarital sex, again, criminalize abortion, criminalize neglect. Don’t criminalize sex.

    “I’m not really trying to tell you what you can and cannot do in your bedroom. ”

    But you would, if given the chance. Lack of opportunity does not change the principle of it. You may not be “trying” to control people’s lives, but you would try if you had a chance to.

    It’s the extension of the beliefs that I find illogical. Follow those beliefs to their end and you get a religion that imposes its will on the minority should it ever gain the majority. No thanks — cold day in hades before I sign on for any of that.

    I’m pretty much done commenting here because this is undoubtedly getting really boring for everyone else to read.

  91. Elizabeth's Gravatar Elizabeth
    June 6, 2009 - 6:37 pm | Permalink

    It’s not boring for me! You’re pretty much stating everything I’m thinking, Alexandra!

  92. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 6, 2009 - 7:16 pm | Permalink

    Heh, thanks Elizabeth! Just to clarify I mean Jesus Camp as in the movie, not as in Jesus lower-case-c camp. I went to Jesus camp when I was a kid; I am only offended aesthetically, not morally, by pre-teen-crafted God-themed bookmarks and ashtrays. Oh, the endless ashtrays we collected through years of art classes and summer camps. If only my parents smoked.

  93. Jasper's Gravatar Jasper
    June 6, 2009 - 7:19 pm | Permalink

    Freedom is not being able to do whatever the hell you want to do, thats license. Freedom is being able to do what one ought to do.

    “Birth control being legal does not impose on the lives of those who don’t like it.”

    Yes it does.

    Alexandra,

    If you don’t think allowing immoral behavoir effects the rest of society, you are very wrong.

  94. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 6, 2009 - 8:53 pm | Permalink

    @Jasper: I suppose “swearing” could be considered “immoral”. Is my sailor’s tongue damaging to society? I don’t think so.

  95. Dan's Gravatar Dan
    June 6, 2009 - 8:58 pm | Permalink

    “Why can’t I hire a prostitute in my own home?”

    You can in some states. I think one of them is trying to outlaw that, but we’ll see.

    “Why can’t my 14 year old drink beer in my own home?”

    If you buy it and supply it to your 14 year old, and ONLY your 14 year old, you can. It’s legal for a child to drink with their family in their own home if supervised by their parents. Once you bring their friends into your home, it becomes a whole other story.

    Just felt like responding to those two points ;)

  96. June 6, 2009 - 9:30 pm | Permalink

    Alexandra –

    “I’m pretty much done commenting here because this is undoubtedly getting really boring for everyone else to read.”

    Bad Alexandra! BAD! 8)

    If someone is talking back to you, then someone is interested and not bored. How many times have we said that you can’t convince the thought process of a mob to take a second look at their opinions, but you can do that to one person – one at a time. That is what we are here for.

    I have to say, that my many debates with many of you (Pip and Rae in particular) have led me to change my mind on some things. And I’m as bull headed as they come! Keep talking. Never feel like you should stop. You are talking from your heart – and that is where this all begins.

  97. Rae's Gravatar Rae
    June 6, 2009 - 9:41 pm | Permalink

    I helped changed your mind on something? What did I help change, out of curiosity…?

  98. June 6, 2009 - 10:07 pm | Permalink

    Rae: I helped changed your mind on something? What did I help change, out of curiosity…?

    You always challenge me on things that I think are facts. You make me realize there is another side to something when I think all sides are covered. Both you and PIP do it……. Sometimes it takes me forever to post a story because I just know you will find the loop hole in my thought process…….

    I do remember one time you challenged me on one of my statistics…I can’t remember the whole thing, but I tried to make a connection between North Dakota’s low abortion rate in comparison to birth rates and you questioned my reasoning because I didn’t take North Dakota’s demographics in consideration. I really can’t remember the outcome – but now I look at all state statistics differently.

    I also can’t remember if it was you or Pip that challenged me on the abortion breast cancer link and now I don’t think there really is one……… However, I do think more research needs to be done as none of the studies followed anyone longer than 4 years (as far as I know.)

  99. June 6, 2009 - 11:00 pm | Permalink

    I also can’t remember if it was you or Pip that challenged me on the abortion breast cancer link and now I don’t think there really is one……… However, I do think more research needs to be done as none of the studies followed anyone longer than 4 years (as far as I know.)

    Rae and Pip enlightened me to this one as well. :) Yay for them and all their science smarticles. Rae’s have always come in handy taking all my pre-nursing courses!

  100. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 7, 2009 - 1:40 pm | Permalink

    “I’m sorry if this conversation has become tedious. I’ll let it go if you really want to, but I don’t think it’s because people are bored. We’ve kind of “been getting into it” and I have felt unsettled as well.”

    It does feel tedious, but it’s mostly because I feel like I’m just saying the same things over and over.

    “You haven’t addressed things like Folsom Street Fair. Or the garbage that’s allowed on television. Why should my 12 year old daughter have to listen to endless commercials about birth control and Cialis? Why does she even have to know what erectile dysfunction is?”

    I don’t think that people should be naked or lewd in public, so it’s not like I support people having sex in the street just because they’re gay. I take issue with drug commercials but mostly for different reasons, and I don’t have a problem with restrictions on what can be shown during “prime” hours. Personally I don’t think prescription medications should be advertised to the public, but I don’t really know what I’m talking about so no one quote me on that.

    “The pedophiles are pissed off because we won’t let NAMBLA be legitimized.
    The rapists want to rape.
    I have to wear a seatbelt.”

    Do you not see the differences between these three things? Molesting a child, raping a woman, and wearing a seatbelt? I don’t think people should be required to wear seat belts, actually, because if you want to be a huge dimwit then that should be your right, and it legitimately doesn’t affect anyone else except the loves ones you might leave behind when you fly through your own windshield. If anything it should be an insurance-company issue, not a government one.

    “When I was young, to get a job, you had to show that you were “worthy” of representing the company you were going to work for. You had to to be kempt, clean…

    Now, I go to K-Mart and theres a man with a pony tail, 20 piercings and blue fingernail polish. 20 years ago, I would have crossed the street to avoid him, now he’s ringing up my purchase. The “F” word is used with as much frequency as the word “THE”. Guys in target, EMPLOYEES, use it when they are talking to each other, stocking the aisles.”

    You still do need to be “worthy” of representing the company you work for. The concept of what is worthy has changed, as it has throughout history. Employers are within their rights to restrict the appearance of their employees when it comes to voluntary attributes like piercings or attire. Maybe you’re visually offended that they choose not to do so in ways you would if the business were yours, but is your aesthetic preference actually grounded in some moral basis? What, morally, is problematic about an eyebrow ring or blue nail polish?

    Are piercings and nail polish inherently dangerous or offensive? Why is it pretty to have pierced ears and scary to have a pierced nose? Why is pink nail polish okay but blue nail polish offensive? Why is nail polish beautiful on a woman but offensive on a man? Your complaints are things that every generation has said about the one after it. “It’s immoral, women in pants. Used to be that people had some dignity and respect.” The bob immorally blurred the lines between men and women. etc etc etc.

    Excerpt from NY Times letter from a prominent social figure, on ragtime, 1912: “It seems remarkable to me that nothing is being done to stamp out the epidemic of these positively dangerous songs, the titles of which are now stock phrases about town, and all too common from the lips of children.”

    A Ladies’ Home Journal article on jazz, from 1921: http://faculty.pittstate.edu/~knichols/syncopate.html (ten years later, ragtime is okay, but jazz takes things too far.)

    Woe to those who let the swung and blue notes infect their minds. Woe to those who allow a minority-demographic-originated cakewalk rhythm to whistle past their lips into majority-member society.

    Certainly some changes are for the worse, not for the better — just because every generation has fretted about the one following it doesn’t make such concerns inherently invalid. But many changes are just neutral. Surely there is a difference between style — fashion, music, etc — and morals. Sometimes immoral things are in style, but that doesn’t mean that all stylistic changes are immoral.

    When Christian’s parents visited, we walked to a neighborhood bar one night, and on the way we passed some teenagers sitting around with an iPod in a dock, listening to music and talking. When we were out of range of them, Christian’s father said, “See, now, that would scare me, living near stuff like that.” I was honestly shocked. My neighborhood is really safe! Yeah, they were wearing ugly clothes (it is a rare man who can rock skinny jeans), and had a few extra piercings among them, but they were just sitting there. They moved a little bit when we came, to make room on the sidewalk; they were just talking and laughing.

    “The pill? I’ve already shown that it’s harmful, to more than just it’s user, and to it’s user when they are minors.”

    I don’t think that some possible chance of maybe preventing implantation (or just the unwillingness of the manufacturer to state unequivocally that the pill will NOT prevent implantation) is a reason to ban it. Many things in our society can do the same. If the intent of the pill is to prevent ovulation, and there is some small chance that ovulation occurs and then an even smaller chance that the fertilized egg can’t implant, that doesn’t mean that the intent is to prevent implantation. I think that the reaction to the possibility of birth control to interfere with implantation is rooted in moral opposition to contraception, because you don’t see people calling to ban vitamin c, caffeine, breastfeeding, ibuprofen, or other things that could also possibly interfere with implantation. These are things where the intended function is arguably morally neutral, and that a possible side effect may be failure to implant is not an issue. The intended function of birth control is to suppress ovulation, which is arguably not a morally neutral act (and it’s one I don’t agree with, personally, for a variety of physical and “holistic” health reasons, but whatev); and it’s the one that gets all the attention for maybe, possibly causing failure to implant.

    Legally, I don’t think that minors should be able to access prescription medication without a parent’s consent, unless it’s a life-or-death situation. And on prescription drugs just having risks in general, I’m no fan of unnecessary medication but birth control shouldn’t be held to some higher standard of safety just because some people object to its intent.

    “The language? Freedom of speech is all well and good, but you don’t believe that there are times and places where it is inappropriate? Like at a kid’s park?”

    I know of municipalities that take action against public profanity and I don’t really have much of an opinion on the matter. Public space is community space. Profanity is also often “piggybacked” onto disorderly conduct laws or used as evidence in such cases.

    Honestly I find thoughts/attitudes more offensive than words. I’m far more bothered by a man saying something degrading about a girl who slept with him than I am by a guy muttering the f-word when he drops a crate of oranges outside the grocery store. One is a guy having a bad day and forgetting where he is, the other is a disrespectful and objectifying love-hate attitude towards women as sexual beings. Social disapproval is the only way you can change things like that. Otherwise you end up like much of Europe, banning Holocaust denial (though maybe you agree with that).

    Have you ever heard of Stetson Kennedy? He is often credited as being one of the single people most responsible for weakening the KKK’s influence on US culture/society. He started the “Frown Power” campaign in the 1940’s, which encouraged people to pointedly and actively frown when they heard someone saying racist or bigoted things. You can’t ban racist language, because of course there are all sorts of issues that go with that — what is offensive is a matter of relativity, and racially offensive sentiments can be expressed without using racist words. But social disapproval is a powerful tool. People know when something is racist, more than the law can reflect. People know when something is profane, more than the law can reflect. I am upset by so many of the things I hear people saying, and I wish that our society disapproved of such things more strongly — expressing disapproval is like social voting. Vote with your reactions, your dollars, your voice — it’s the most realistic way to combat such things. I am in the majority on some things and, sadly, in the minority on others. C’est la vie.

    “Premaritial sex? When it leads to millions of kids with no dads? And millions of women with no partners and less chance of finding one because they have an STD and a 4 year old?”

    This is, in many ways, more a difference in attitudes towards marriage than in premarital sex. In the early- to mid-1800s, approximately 1/3 of women were pregnant when they got married. You see a drop in the rates of this in the middle and later 1800’s, suggesting both increased abstinence and increased awareness of contraception. When there are closely-felt repercussions for irresponsibility, people are more likely to behave responsibly — so in some ways it makes sense that maybe a generation that was so affected by premarital pregnancy would work to ensure that their kids weren’t getting up to the same sort of business. Still, 88% of women born in the 1940’s had pre-marital sex before age 44. Most of them, if they got pregnant, got married or gave the kid up for adoption. Today people are having premarital sex at only slightly higher rates. The difference is that they are not as likely to marry in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.

    I think that, had abortion never been so widely legalized, we would probably be entering a “corrective” period around now, akin to the late 1800’s when premarital pregnancy decreased. I don’t necessarily think that changing attitudes towards marriage are a bad thing, in this specific respect — that is to say, I think that people like Elizabeth are on the whole happier and better off than they would be had they been socially pressured into either marriage with the father, or adoption. But I do think that, if pregnancy always meant a baby rather than just a tough choice about what to do next, social trends would swing towards being discriminating in sexual partners, waiting longer to have sex at all, and (for better or worse) probably being more careful in the use of birth control.

    (Elizabeth I didn’t want to use you as an “example” because sometimes I get shy or awkward when people do that to me! But I do consider you a perfect example of one of the benefits of changing social attitudes towards marriage. I would have used a friend in in a similar situation — but I didn’t feel like explaining the whole thing since I’m already writing too much.)

    “Freedom respects ALL freedoms. Freedom doesn’t stamp it’s foot and say “I CAN AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!” True freedom respects the rights of others.”

    “Freedom to do what I want you to do” isn’t freedom, and it doesn’t respect the rights of others. So many of the things that you are talking about in this comment are just social forces, which you can’t really regulate effectively via laws. Kids dress weirdly. People are rude if they’re consistently not called out on it. It’s not like we used to ban piercings and rudeness, and then we legalized it and all hell broke loose. People stopped upholding the standards of public behavior (profanity), or they changed the standards (fashion), or whatever. These changes, for better and for worse, are driven by the community.

    Haiku:

    choirs of Angeles
    singing down to spanish jews
    heralding tevet

    (Angeles, tevet. I hate LA so I went with angels instead)

  101. June 7, 2009 - 3:01 pm | Permalink
  102. Alexandra's Gravatar Alexandra
    June 7, 2009 - 5:40 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for those links, Val!

    “The price of the school lunch program alone is enough to argue that people that cannot afford to have kids, should NOT have sex.”

    Well then there goes my whole extended family, lol.

    “you hold the right to freedom (of speech, sex, privacy) to be of greater moral value than the right for kids to have 2 parents, the right for my children not to have to listen to foul language on the city streets and the right to send my child to a school without being taught that homosexuality is equal to heterosexuality, morally speaking. ”

    I am pretty sure that I said that I don’t have any strong opinions on the issue of regulating profanity in public, though I question its practicality; and I don’t know where I said that moral opinions on homosexuality should be taught in schools. So no, that’s not the case.

    “So in essence, you, as well as I, are voting from your conscience. You are saying that given the chance to vote for the right to become pregnant out of wedlock, go on welfare, live off my tax money, raise a child/children without benefit of a father, you would vote “yes”, because you don’t feel you have the right to tell others what to do.”

    I’m not sure where I discussed social welfare programs. Tell me, though, how do you take away the “right” to become pregnant out of wedlock? Can a natural consequence in the human body in reaction to natural actions like sex be considered a “right?” What, then, does it mean to say that some people don’t have the “right” to be pregnant? (Interestingly, China does not restrict pregnancy to married women.) And if it’s about a child’s right to two parents, how do the “rights” of a person who does not yet exist, and may never exist, a person who only MIGHT exist one day, supercede the rights of currently living people to do what they want with their own bodies in the privacy of their own homes?

    Not all women who have premarital sex become pregnant, and not all women who are single mothers rely on social welfare; not all children of legally single mothers are fatherless (I don’t mean in the biological sense, because obviously they all have fathers.); and not all single mothers got pregnant out of wedlock.

    “I don’t think either one of us really wants to control the others lives, but whichever one our votes wins, they WILL be controlling the others lives.”

    Ignoring the debate on social welfare spending, there IS a difference between directly controlling someone’s individual choices, and controlling where someone’s tax dollars go (or, more broadly speaking, controlling the possible effects of an individual’s choices). It’s like if I said, “Well, I don’t think people should be able to study the Bible unless there’s a state-sanctioned, mainstream-denomination theologian in the room, because otherwise people can just interpret any old thing they want and potentially convince themselves that they are supposed to kill non-believers.” The problem is people killing (whether they justify it theologically or not) so that’s what we outlaw. The problem with drunk driving is that it kills, so that’s what we outlaw — not drinking, even though without alcohol to drink there would be no drunk driving.

    I’m not saying that something being legal means it’s totally desirable. But there are real, and often frightening, implications that come with banning a behavior just because isn’t desirable.

    I’m sorry you think I’m giving you grief. Perhaps we should just leave it be.